Final Fantasy and Harry Potter in: Random Insanity
by Reverie the Nightengale
Summary: Wanna know what happens when you get one of the most popular book series, the nost popular RPG game series, and one psyco author wrapped up in one hell of a fic? Well, figure that one out, and have fun. WARNING: R&R....OR ELSE!
1. The Insanity is Only Beginning....

Disclaimer:  
(Since this'll only ruin my fic, I'll just keep this short)  
I donnot own any of the Final Fantasy (game nor movie) characters,  
plot or whatnot, nor do I own Harry Potter or any of it's characters,   
nor anything else that I would get sued for that is ironically   
mentioned in this fic. This is just a fic that I made for the fun of it,   
so I won't tolerate flames. If you don't appreciate my sense of   
humor, then you'll only look like an idiot in my eyes. So MLAH!  
  
  
Warning:  
Very Random and very insane fic. If it doesn't make sense to you   
then get a sense of humor, or the least you can do is understand   
mine, because I was a real flake when I made this.  
  
  
  
  
Final Fantasy / Harry Potter Interview  
  
  
==Show taking place at some Jerry Springer studio of whatnot,   
where our interviewer, Leo, sits cross-legged in a chair (for some   
reason there are very little people in the audience....).==  
  
Audience: (clapping and jeering) "Le-o! Le-o! Le-o! Le-o!"  
  
Leo: (walks on stage) "Welcome to the 'Leo Talk-Show of Terror   
and Insanity'! Brought to you by the Mental Institution.   
MWAHAHAHA!" (tries to clear throat) "Ahh, I think I have a frog in   
my throat...."  
  
Dumbledor: (in the audience, waves his wand around and suddenly,   
a very disturbing scene enues: a frog jumps out of Leo's throat, and   
hops off the stage. Dumbledor smiles)  
  
Leo: (looking disturbed) "Uhh....thank you my good geezer man!"  
  
Dumbledor: "...."  
  
Leo: "So, I bet that some of you wondered what would happen if we  
add the most popular RPG game series-or at least mine-and mix it   
with the most popular book series-or at least in my opinion. So, how  
many of you wondered about this?"  
  
Audience: "...." (cricket chirps, wind blows, a tumbleweed flies by,   
the works.)  
  
Leo: (eyes shift) "Oookay, well, that's what today's show is gonna   
be about. First, we'll bring out the Final Fantasy VIII cast!  
  
(Final Fantasy VIII cast-Squall, Rinoa, Quistis, Zell, Irvine, and   
Selphie walk upon the stage, waving at everyone as the Final   
Fantasy fans whoop and cheer for them as the cast take each seats)  
  
Leo: "So, how do you feel being on the show?"  
  
Squall: "....whatever."  
  
Quistis: "Hey, I think it's good for us to be on here, it's rather   
nice...."  
  
Zell: "What are you talking about, Quisty?" (shakes his head)  
  
Leo: (to Zell) "Hey, you're still in Faronon's story! YOU'RE OUT!"  
  
Zell: "Waaaah! I dunwannaaaaaaaaaa....!" (is kicked to Kingdom   
Come)  
  
Leo: (going back to like nothing ever happened) "Okay! What were   
we talking about? Oh yes, I remember! Rinoa, what do you have to   
say? And the rest of you, mainly Irvy Kennepooooooo."  
  
FFVIIICast: (blink) (blink) "Okay...."  
  
Quistis: "Yeah, well-"  
  
Leo: "You already said something!"  
  
Professor McGonnagal: "This is absurd! When will they get out the   
rest?"  
  
Leo: "Hey, your not supposed to be here Miss CONGENIATLITY!   
STEVE!"  
  
(suddenly, Steve from Jerry Springer walks in, and throws Professor   
McGonnagal out the door)  
  
Professor McGonnagal: "Waaaah! I dunwannaaaaaaaaaa! Hey,   
Steve, can I touch your head?"  
  
Steve: "....no."  
  
Professor McGonnagal: "WAAAAHHH!" (is thrown out of the studio)  
  
All: (blink) (blink) "Oookay...."  
  
Leo: "Anyway, before Selphie starts making moves on my Irvy, hey!   
BACK OFF YOU SKANK!" (slaps Selphie away from Irvine)  
  
Selphie: "Yipe!"  
  
Leo: (glaring) "S'what I thought...."  
  
Irvine: "So, what is this all supposed to be about?"  
  
Leo: (shrugs) "All I need is the Harry Potter cast to come in soon...."  
  
Snape: (walks across the stage, holding his hands up in triumph) "I   
OWN YOUR SOULS! MWAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
Voldemort: (walks on stage)  
  
Audience: (gasps) "It's You-Know-Who!"  
  
Leo: "Who-know-be-a-whatie?"  
  
Voldemort: (holding his hands up in triumph) "I OWN THE WORLD!   
MWAHAH!"  
  
All: (blinks)  
  
Irvine: (pointing) "Who's he?"  
  
Squall: ".....whatever."  
  
Harry: (runs on stage) "COME BACK HERE!  
  
Voldemort: "Gotta go!" (runs off, screeching:) "WEEEEEE!"  
  
Harry: (runs off the stage after Voldemort)  
  
Squall: ".....whatever."  
  
Selphie: "Eee?"  
  
Irvine: "That's it! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU! DIE YOU EVIL BEAST!   
DIEEEE!" (conjures a violin and bashes Selphie's head over and   
over until she is knocked out and lying on the floor, the Irvine   
grabs a stake-erm-what was left of the violin, using it as a stake   
and a whole "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" scene enues as Irvine   
stakes Selphie)  
  
Selphie: "Gah?" (passes out)  
  
All: (claps) "YAY!"  
  
(Laguna walks on stage)  
  
Laguna: "Sorry I'm late, wait....am I in this fic?"  
  
Leo: "ARGH! YOU RUINED IT!" (grabs her own violin and threatens   
to bash Laguna)  
  
Laguna: "Meep!" (runs away)  
  
Hagrid: (stomps on) "NORBERT! NORBERT! WHERE DID 'YA GO?!"  
  
Charlie: (from the audience) "Dude, we took Norbert a long time   
ago."  
  
Hagrid: "What?!" (stomps off the stage and into the audience,   
after Charlie, who runs off the studio, and Hagrid chases after him,   
making the whole place shake)  
  
Audience: "Jerr-y! Jerr-y! Jerr-"  
  
Leo: (glares at them) "Whose show is this? Watch it, 'cause I own   
this fic."  
  
Audience: "...erm....Le-o! Le-o Le-o!"  
  
Rinoa: "Uhh, no?"  
  
Squall: "....whatever."  
  
Quistis: "Okay, this is just weird...."  
  
Aki: ((from "Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within" for those who don't   
know)) "The dreams are always the same....I'm standing, waiting.   
The only question is, is if I'm in time enough to save the earth...."  
  
Harry: (runs back on) "Hey, that's my job!" (runs off)  
  
Selphie: (gets up) "Gah?"  
  
Grey: ((also from "Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within"))   
"What is that?" (points at Selphie)  
  
Selphie: (cocks her head) "Eee?"  
  
Random Bypasser: (is hit by a banana)  
  
Rinoa: "Hehehe...." (grins)  
  
Another Random Bypasser: (is hit by a whole wave of bananas)  
  
Rinoa: (holding her hands behind her back, the tune to whistling   
"Eyes on Me")  
  
Irvine: (jumps on his chair) "FOOD FIGHT!"  
  
All: "YEAH!"  
  
Harry: (runs back on) "Ahh, where did Voldemort-"  
  
Audience: (gasps)  
  
Harry: "Oh, come off it!"  
  
Sid: ((another one of the lovable "Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within" cast member)) "Oh my god!"  
  
Headmaster Cid: (sitting next to Headmaster Dumbledor) "This is   
rather odd...."  
  
Headmaster Dumbledor: "I hear ya."  
  
Headmaster Cid: "Wanna go for a few shots of whiskey?"  
  
Headmaster Dumbledor: "What's that?"  
  
Headmaster Cid: "Ahh....nev'a mind...."  
  
Headmaster Dumbledor: "Here, try some of this." (hands over a   
bottle of Butterbeer)  
  
Headmaster Cid: "Hey, this doesn't have any alcohol! What kind of   
crack of you been smokin'?!"  
  
Headmaster Dumbledor: (shoves the bottle down Cid's throat)  
  
Headmaster Cid: "AHH....! Hey, this stuff if pretty good."  
  
Headmaster Dumbledor: "Want some Bertie Bott's Every Flavor   
Beans?"  
  
Audience: "NOOOOO!"  
  
Headmaster Cid: "Sure." (takes one, than gags, running off the   
stage) "RANCID MILK!"  
  
All: "Ewww...."  
  
Headmaster Cid: (walks back in, his face all green and he decks   
Headmaster Dumbledor)  
  
Headmaster Dumbledor: "THAT'S IT!" (decks Headmaster Cid)  
  
Headmaster Cid: (decks Dumbledor)  
  
Headmaster Dumbledor: (decks Headmaster Cid)  
  
Headmaster Cid: (decks Dumbledor)  
  
Headmaster Dumbledor: (decks Headmaster Cid)  
  
Headmaster Cid: (decks Dumbledor)  
  
(the two Headmasters knock each other out)  
  
Aki: "There's something in here!" (points at Selphie)  
  
Selphie: (gets up and cocks her head again) "Gah?"  
  
Leo: "Hey, I don't remember any movie characters being in here?"  
  
Aki: "The dreams are always the same."  
  
Just Another Random Bypasser: "You know, you've got a talent for   
understatement." (then is pegged in the eye by a banana, making   
the bypasser fall over and down the set, yet, for some reason no   
one seems to either notice nor care)  
  
Aki: "The dreams are always the same."  
  
Leo: "Man, this is messed up!"  
  
Hermione: (waves her wand at Selphie, performing the Imperius   
Curse) "Imperio!"  
  
Selphie: (jumping on her chair, while doing an impression of a   
werewolf)  
  
All: "YAY!"  
  
Just Another Random Bypasser: "Waaaah!" (slips and falls on a   
banana peel, falling down the stage)  
  
Selphie: (starts hopping around, and jump on the random bypassers,  
howling)  
  
All: "YAY!"  
  
Irvine: "No one understands the loneliness of a sniper...."  
  
Leo: "I hear ya."  
  
Irvine: "You a sniper too?"  
  
Leo: "Nah, just wanted to make you feel better."  
  
Audience: "Awww....how nice...." (gets a warm fuzzy feeling)  
  
Hermione: (reverses the Imperius Curse, making Selphie go back to   
normal)  
  
Audience: (the warms fuzzy feeling is gone)  
  
Sirius: "Hey, Hermione, YOU JUST PERFORMED AN ILLEAGAL CURSE!"  
  
(a bunch of Azkabanian guards stroll in, taking Hermione away)  
  
Hermione: "No! No! NOOOOO!"  
  
Leo: "Man, this is really messed up!"  
  
Aki: "The dreams-"  
  
All: "SHUT UP!"  
  
Aki: "..................."  
  
Grey: "Uh, no?"  
  
Sid: "Oh my god...."  
  
Leo: (jumps up and down) "THEY HAVE SID! THEY HAVE SID!"   
(stops jumping) "Sure, he's an old guy, but...." (jumps up and down  
again) "THEY HAVE SID! THEY HAVE SID! Or could it always be with   
a 'C'? Why do you have an 'S' in your name?"  
  
Sid: "....because Squaresoft ran out of ideas."  
  
Leo: "...."  
  
Harry: "Hey, am I really going to die?"  
  
Professor Trealwlney: (looks at Harry, faints, but then comes back   
up) "Welcome....to the friendly psychics network!"  
  
All: "Ack!"  
  
Professor Trealwlney: "The dark lord shall arise...."  
  
Voldemort: "I already have!"  
  
Ron: "Ya old bat!"  
  
Professor Trealwlney: "He shall be stronger and greater than   
before...."  
  
All: "Ack!"  
  
Harry: "THAT IT! I HATE YOU! STOP MAKING YOUR PHONEY   
PREDICTIONS THAT I AM GOING TO FRIGGEN DIE!" (kills Professor   
Trealwlney)  
  
Audience: "YAY!"  
  
Ron: "Ahh, but when two Neptune's appear in the sky, it is a sure   
sign that an short idiot writing a stupid fic will be born...."  
  
Leo: "HEY!" (smacks Ron)  
  
Ron: "Ouch!" (smacks Leo)  
  
Leo: (smacks Ron)  
  
Ron: (smacks Leo)  
  
Leo: (smacks Ron)  
  
Ron: (smacks Leo)  
  
Leo: (smacks Ron)  
  
Harry: "CAT FIGHT, CAT FIGHT!"  
  
Ron: "Harry?! What's that supposed 'ta mean?"  
  
Harry: (shrugs)  
  
Ron: "BRING IT ON!" (smacks Harry)  
  
Ron: (smacks Harry) "Take that!"  
  
Harry: (smacks Leo) "Now your gonna get it!"  
  
Leo: (smacks Ron) "You meanie!"  
  
Ron: (smacks Harry) "And that!"  
  
Harry: (smacks Leo) "Dunno why I am doing this, but OKAY!"  
  
Leo: (smacks Ron) "Just shut up!"  
  
Ron: (smacks Harry) "Okay."  
  
Harry: (smacks Leo) "Not a bad idea."  
  
Leo: (smacks Ron) "How can this go on....?"  
  
Ron: (smacks Harry) "....in front of an audience?"  
  
Harry: (smacks Leo) "I...."  
  
Leo: (smacks Ron) "....hate....."  
  
Ron: (smacks Harry) "You!" (smacks Leo) "....and you!"  
  
Harry: (smacks Ron) "Hey, don't hit her, that's my job!"  
  
Leo: (smacks Harry and Ron)  
  
Ron: "Hey, wanna make a truce?"  
  
Leo: "Truces are for whimps." (smacks Ron)  
  
Ron: (smacks Harry)  
  
Harry: (smacks Leo)  
  
Leo: (smacks Ron)  
  
Ron: (smacks Harry)  
  
Harry: (smacks Leo)  
  
Leo: (smacks Ron)  
  
Ron: (smacks Harry)  
  
Harry: (smacks Leo)  
  
Leo: (smacks Ron)  
  
Ron: (smacks Harry)  
  
Harry: (smacks Leo)  
  
Leo: (smacks Ron)  
  
Ron: (smacks Harry)  
  
Harry: (smacks Leo)  
  
Leo: (smacks Ron)  
  
Leo: "I'm tired of this smacking sissy crap!"  
  
Hermione: (running away from the guards in a straight jacket) "I   
resent that!"  
  
Leo: (decks Ron in the face)  
  
Ron: "Waaaah!" (goes cross-eyed and falls over)  
  
(Leo wins)  
  
Harry: "Hey, what about me?"  
  
Ron: (twitching) "You already get your glory...."  
  
Leo: "Yeah!" (holds her hands up in triumph)  
  
(as all this goes on, everyone stands there looking like a bunch of   
idiots)  
  
Leo: (blinking) "What's your guy's deal?"  
  
Quistis: "You haven't given us lines yet."  
  
Irvine: "That is so cruel!"  
  
Squall: ".....whatever."  
  
Zell: (coming back in, being chased by Faronon who is holding   
Laguna's machine gun) "Ack! Someone, save me, and feeeed me;   
not necessarily in that ooooorder!"  
  
All: "...."  
  
Leo: "Now that isn't right!"  
  
Zell: "Oh come on! Someone save me!"  
  
Irvine: "Um, how about not?"  
  
Snape: "Want me to kill him?"  
  
All: "Sure!"  
  
Faronon: "No, wait! I have to be the one to kill Zell, I hate him the   
most!"  
  
Leo: "Which explains the 'Zell Bashing' topic for your random   
insanity fic."  
  
Faronon: "....ya got a point there!"  
  
Leo: "Coolies!"  
  
All: "...."  
  
Quistis: "Behold, when two idiots are put together in the same   
room."  
  
Leo: "Speak for yourself, blondie!"  
  
Aya ((from Parasite Eve)): "Hey! That's not nice!"  
  
Leo: "Go away, shower girl!" (glares) "You make me sick!"  
  
Aya: (is zapped out of the fic)  
  
Zell: (is zapped out of the fic)  
  
Faronon: (is zapped out of the fic)  
  
Leo: "So, back onto the show-"  
  
General Hein: (("Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within" villain.   
MWAHAHA!)) "I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD! Hey, I have a nose!"  
  
Leo: -_- "This is hopeless...." (smacks her forehead)  
  
Grey: (shoots Hein)  
  
Aki: "Hey, Grey, wanna go make out?"  
  
All: O.o  
  
Grey: "Sure! Even though it's weird to date a girl who has been   
abducted by aliens, and I am supposed to hate you-I think, or at   
least that's what the main characters are supposed to do with the   
person they like-"  
  
Aki: "Hey, not only are you rambleing, you forget that I'm the main   
character of the movie!"  
  
(everyone looks up)  
  
All: "Huh?"  
  
Aki: "Seriously!"  
  
Hermione: "Seriously!"  
  
Laguna: (walks in and hits Hermione in the back of the head with   
his gun, ordering the guards to take her away screaming)  
  
Leo: "Yeah! I KNEW IT! It's about time Squaresoft made something   
that has a heroine!"  
  
Hermione: "Heroine?! WHERE?!" (runs around, looking under chairs)  
  
Rinoa: "YEAH! IT'S ABOUT TIME THE FEMALE RACE STEPS UP AND   
TAKES OVER THE WORLD!"  
  
Hermione: (struggling from the guards in a straight jacket) "Preach   
on, sist'a!"  
  
Rinoa: (now looking dense) "Oh, can I have some tacos? Are there   
any tacos on this set? I want some tacos. If not I'll have coffee."  
  
Leo: "Who cares, Squaresoft finally made a girl main character, and   
for a movie at that!"  
  
Squall: ".....whatever."  
  
Sid: "But I thought the movie was being made by Americans?"  
  
Harry: "Did you know they're making a movie about me?"  
  
Ron: (rolls eyes)  
  
Harry: "What's your deal?"  
  
Ron: (rolls eyes again)  
  
Harry: (grabs a POTTER REALLY STINKS badge and cocks it across   
the room at Ron's forehead)  
  
Ron: (goes cross-eyed and falls over)  
  
All: "Ooo....aaahhh...."  
  
Grey: "So, anyway, it that okay, my little Aki?"  
  
Aki: "Okay!"  
  
All: "That's not riiiiight!"  
  
(the two love-birds walks off)  
  
Audience: "That's still not riiiiight!"  
  
Rinoa: "HEY SQUALL!"  
  
Squall: "....whatever."  
  
Leo: "Umm, this fic is turning into a lemon...."  
  
Irvine: "Well, it's not our fault!"  
  
Sid: "Yeah, it's all yours!"  
  
Steiner: (runs across the set, screaming) "Princess! Princess?   
PRINCESS! PRINC-ESS! Princess? Princess! Princess? Prince-"  
  
All: "SHUT UP!"  
  
Leo: "And you aren't in here!" (erases all of Steiner but his head)  
  
Steiner: "Oh cruel-mmph!"  
  
Leo: (erases Steiner's rather large mouth as well)  
  
Ron: "Dude, I wanna go out for Butterbeer, what do ya say, Harry?  
Harry?"  
  
Harry: (looking in the audience) "Hmmm...."  
  
Ron: "'Sup?"  
  
Harry: "Look, it's Lupin! HI LUPIN!"  
  
Lupin: "Ugh...." (howls, then turns into a werewolf and runs off the   
audience stands)  
  
Ron&Harry: "...."  
  
Harry: "Hey, it's Moody! HI MOODY!"  
  
Moody: "CONSTANT VIGALANCE!"  
  
Harry&Ron: (anime fall)  
  
Leo: "I don't remember making anime stuff for Harry Potter?"  
  
Harry: "You raaaaaang?"  
  
Leo: '_'  
  
Irvine: (aiming his gun for Selphie's head, but then misses and the   
bullet runs across the stage and hits Aeris, as she falls on the   
ground)  
  
Leo: (to Irvine) "OHMIGAWD!"  
  
Cloud: (catching Aeris) "YOU KILLED AERIS!...."  
  
Sephroth: "You beast!" (hesitates) "I'm supposed to kill Aeris!"  
  
Cloud: "Really? OMILASH!"  
  
Sephroth: (and just like the end of the game, he blows up. You   
know, I really wonder what is up with Squaresoft and blowing up   
things, even their villains do the same. Ironic, isn't it?)  
  
Selphie: (blinks) "Yay! I'm alive!"  
  
Irvine: "Not anymore!" (shoots Selphie)  
  
Leo: "Doink! 9999 damage."  
  
Selphie: (falls over and dies. Then a little naked angel appears over  
her and she gets absorbed into time)  
  
Leo: "I always wondered what is up with the whole time absorbing   
thing....?"  
  
Squall: ".....what-"  
  
Quistis: "-ever?" (giggles)  
  
Squall: "Could you knock it off?! LION HEART!" (kills Quistis with   
this gunblade)  
  
Leo: "Hey, you guys can't keep killing the people on here!"  
  
Quistis&Selphie: (is magically revived by fanfic magic) "YAY!"  
  
All: "NO! OH CRUEL FATE!"  
  
Quistis: (blink) (blink) "Whaaat?"  
  
Voldemort: (runs up, waving his wand and says) "Avada Kadavera!"  
  
Selphie: (blinks at the flashing green light) "Huh?"  
  
Leo: ".....and aren't you supposed to be dead now, Selphie?"  
  
Selphie: "Oh....yeah." (goes cross-eyed like Ron did only she dies)  
  
Irvine: "Told ya she was stupid...."  
  
Sid: "You didn't have to point that out."  
  
(Aki and Grey walk back in)  
  
Grey: (grinning) "How fun."  
  
Leo: "What did you guys really do?"  
  
Aki: "We played Strip Poker."  
  
All: -_-  
  
Grey: "Whaaat?"  
  
Hein: "I will now destroy the world!"  
  
(psychotic music plays)  
  
(world ends)  
  
(all there is, is darkness, and there stands Leo, looking at her   
watch)  
  
Leo: "Hey, only I can end the world, since this is my show!"  
  
(the world is magically restored)  
  
All: "YIPEE!"  
  
Leo: "Hey, who says we all ditch this show and go out to the Three   
Broomsticks and get drunk off our arses?"  
  
Kid: "Hey, yer an aussie too?"  
  
Leo: "No, I just like the accent. And you my little blonde Australian   
friend, belong in Faronon's Crono Cross Random Insanity fic!"  
  
Kid: "Ah, blast it!" (is zapped to Faronon's Crono Cross fanfic's) "NO!   
NOT ZELL!"  
  
(so, Headmaster Dumbledor, Headmaster Cid, Leo, Aki, Grey, Harry,   
Ron, Hermione-in-a-straight-jacket, Squall, Rinoa, Irvine, Quistis,   
Sid, and whoever I missed all walk over Selphie and Steiner's big   
giant head as they walk out)  
  
  
  
  
(A/N)  
I will make another one when they all head for the bar. Whoa,   
even more random insanity horror. And I hope I didn't spoil anything  
from the "Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within" movie, but seriously,   
don't you just get tired of all the male-hero crap? (Does an   
impression of one of the girls) "Oh save me!"  



	2. What? You Thought It Was Over?

WARNING:  
  
SPOILERS FROM "FINAL FANTASY: THE SPIRITS WITHIN"! WATCH   
OUT FOR MAJOR SPOILERS AND SOME SCENES THAT I STOLE FROM   
THE MOVIE. JUST THOUGHT THAT I WOULD LIKE TO POINT THAT   
OUT BECAUSE I LIKE TYPING IN CAPS BECAUSE IT TAKES UP TOO   
MUCH SPACE AND THEN IT LOOKS LIKE THIS IS A RUN ON   
SENTENCE BECAUSE THIS IS A RUN ON SENTENCE AND DID YOU   
KNOW I JUST DRANK SOME PEPSI SO BE HIGHLY ON THE LOOKOUT   
FOR AN INSANE PERSON WRITING A FIC AND WHO KNOWS I MAY   
EVEN DO EVEN MORE SCARIER THINGS?!  
  
DISCLAIMER:  
  
ALSO, I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY THAT HARRY POTTER BELONGS  
TO J.K. ROWLING, FINAL FANTASY BELONG TO SQUARESOFT, AND  
LUCKY CHARMS BELONGS TO THE LEPRECHAUN. BUT I OWN MYSELF  
IF THAT COUNTS.  
  
  
Leo: (walks on) "What? A sequel?!"  
  
Harry: (follows Leo) "Well...." (looks back at the previous fic) "You   
DID say that you were going to write another chapter."  
  
Leo: (smacks her forehead) "Dammit! Not on my writer's block!"  
  
Harry: "What are you talking about? This is fan fiction! Nothing has   
to be good, sure, you might get flamed..." (they both shutter)   
"...but it could always be worse."  
  
Leo: "No it can't."  
  
Squall: (walks in) "Okay, what is going on?!"  
  
Harry: "Leo is on her writer's block."  
  
Squall: "WHAT?"  
  
Leo: "Crap...not you to?"  
  
Squall: "It doesn't even have to be good, okay? Lets just get this   
over with!"  
  
Leo: "Fine then." (smacks her forehead) "I can't believe I am doing   
this..."  
  
(everything goes black)  
  
(title shows)  
  
  
===Final Fantasy / Harry Potter in....MORE RANDOM INSANITY!===  
  
((from the last fic, things happened, more things happened, Irvine   
killed Aeris...again, and Cloud killed Sephroth...again, and now   
everyone (this would include Leo, the author. Cloud from FF7.   
Squall, Irvine, Quistis, Rinoa and Headmaster Cid from FF8.   
Aki, Sid, Grey, and General Hein from Final Fantasy: the Spirits   
Within-Neil, Jane, and Ryan will come in soon-.   
And then the Harry Potter characters would include Harry, Ron,   
Hermione-in-a-straight-jacket, Headmaster Dumbledore, Voldemort,   
and even Sirius and Lupin-to whom magically appear again-.)   
decided to head for the Three Broomsticks. So sit back, laugh, and   
do whatever you feel like except flame. I hate flames. And so   
should you. Flames are evil. Flames are bad. If you flame me, I will  
go especially off topic with my fic's and cause your life hell. So no   
flames, kay?))  
  
  
==Setting: Now a desert area. Don't ask me how they got there,   
they just did.==  
  
  
Leo: "Hey, does anyone know where the Three Broomsticks is,   
anyway?"  
  
Harry: "In Hogsmeade."  
  
Squall: "Never heard of it."  
  
Cloud: "Do I even have a purpose in this fic?"  
  
Leo: "Not really, your just there for decoration."  
  
Cloud: "Okay."  
  
Tiffa: (runs in) "I'm a life support system for breasts."  
  
Leo: (to Cloud) "Happy?"  
  
Cloud: "Most defiantly." (grins)  
  
Tiffa: "I'm a life support system for breasts."  
  
Sid: "Uh, what are we going to do now?"  
  
Quistis: "I'm bored...."  
  
Rinoa: (fixes up her nails) "EEK! I BROKE A NAIL!"  
  
(Jane, Neil, and Ryan appear out of nowhere)  
  
Jane: "Now I know where they got the idea that most women are   
like that."  
  
Grey: "YAY! MY COMRADES HAVE COME TO SAVE ME!"  
  
Neil: "Actually, we were going to ask you for directions. We're kind   
of lost."  
  
Grey: "NOOOOOOOOO...!"  
  
Leo: "See, you can never find help anywhere these days."  
  
Harry: "Tell me about it..."  
  
Ron: "So, how do we get to the Three Broomsticks..."  
  
Dumbledore: "USE THE FORCE!"  
  
Harry: (gasps) "Hey!"  
  
All: (looks at Harry)  
  
Harry: "I have a broom."  
  
Headmaster Cid: "WE'RE SAVED!"  
  
Leo: "I'm thirsty!"  
  
Harry: "Well, actually, I only have one. So..." (jumps onto the   
broom, and waved) "SO LONG, SUCK'A'S! MWAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
Hein: "Hey, he stole my evil laugh!"  
  
Harry: (turns the key to start the broom, but then it died down)   
"The engine isn't working! Man, if anyone here who is sane   
deserves to live, it should have been me! I DON'T WANT TO DIE   
YET!"  
  
Voldemort: "Why not now?"  
  
Harry: "Because."  
  
Hermione: (singing) "I want chicken, I want liver, Meow Mix,   
Meow Mix, please de-liv-er!"  
  
All: (stares at Hermione)  
  
Hermione: "Meow?"  
  
Ron: "I knew I should have killed that cat of hers a long time   
ago...."  
  
Sirius: "Who? Crookshanks?"  
  
Hermione: "NO! NOT MY KITTY-WITTY!"  
  
Leo: "Um, may the deities have mercy on your soul....?"  
  
Grey: "Hey, I have an idea!"  
  
All: (looks at Grey)  
  
Grey: (looks at Neil)  
  
Neil: (eyes shift) "W-What?"  
  
Aki: "Of course! We always ask you to do these things!"  
  
Neil: "Hey, it's not like I can wave a magic wand and make a car   
appear of anything!"  
  
Harry: "You can borrow mine." (holds out his wand)  
  
Neil: "No thanks, I don't need a wand."  
  
(a Greyhound bus arrives)  
  
(everyone stares at the bus dumbfounded)  
  
Grey: "Neil, I'm impressed."  
  
Neil: (eyes shift) "Yeah...me too." (hits Harry) "Told ya."  
  
Aki: "So now what?"  
  
Driver: (chanting eerily) "Come for a ride on the bus o' death-  
Come for a ride on the bus o' death-Come for a ride on the bus o'  
death-Come for a ride on the bus o' death-Come for a ride on the  
bus o' death-Come for a ride on the bus o' death!" (smiles)  
  
Neil: "I say we-"  
  
Driver: "Come for a ride of the bus of death!"  
  
Neil: "Go for a ride on the bus of death!"  
  
(they all board the bus, which is empty, making it look all creepy   
and stuff)  
  
Squall: "You know, we happen to be lucky enough to have this   
twenty year old bus appear out of nowhere at the right place and   
the right time. Someone up there must love me!"  
  
Rinoa: "Uh, Squall?"  
  
Squall: "Hm?"  
  
Quistis: "How did you know this bus was twenty years old?"  
  
Leo: "OMG! WE'RE STUCK IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE!"  
  
Jane: "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"  
  
Squall: "Relax. The side of the bus said 'since 1969.' So I thought   
that it was twenty years old. Pretty spiffy, eh?"  
  
All: "Indeeeeeeeeed!"  
  
Driver: "So where to?"  
  
Harry: "To Hogsmeade, please!"  
  
Driver: "Wha-huh?"  
  
Ron: (cups his hands together) "GO-TO...HOGS-MEADE!"  
  
Driver: "Is this some kind of joke?"  
  
Leo: "If you want it to be."  
  
Driver: "OUT! OUT OF MY BUS, FREAKS!"  
  
All: (mutters and walks out, and are stranded back in the desert   
again)  
  
Ryan: "Damn! Not again."  
  
Harry: "This is all your fault!" (points at Ron)  
  
Ron: "MY fault?! No it's not! It's all your fault!" (points to Leo)  
  
Leo: (eyes shift) "Uh, um...MY EVIL TWIN MADE ME DO IT!"  
  
Leo's Evil Twin: "I did?"  
  
Leo: "Yeah, yeah!"  
  
Leo's Evil Twin: "If you want it that way."  
  
Irvine: "Oh....my...god..." (looks at the two Leos) "There two of   
them!"  
  
Squall: "DOUBLE TROUBLE!"  
  
Quistis: "We are all going to be doomed."  
  
Selphie: (comes back to life) "Hey, cheer up guys!"  
  
(Leo makes her evil twin disappear)  
  
Irvine: "ACK! Not again!" (shoots Selphie...again)  
  
Leo: "DOINK! 5 damage."  
  
Irvine: "WHAT?!"  
  
Leo: "Whoops! Did I say 5? I meant....5555 damage!"  
  
Lupin: "What is up with you and all the numbers with the same   
digits?"  
  
Leo: "Who cares? Selphie's dead!"  
  
Selphie: "Oh, wha-huh?" (dies...again)  
  
Ron: (To Harry) "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" (pushes Harry forward)  
  
Harry: "You little bastard!"  
  
Leo: (humming the song "Little Bastard")   
"Dum, dum, du-duh-dum,  
Little bastard....I don't know words of this sooong,   
But the words little bastard.  
It makes me think I'm wrooong!"  
  
Squall: "Leo?"  
  
Leo: "Hmm?"  
  
Rinoa: "Your singing."  
  
Leo: "So I am!"  
  
Neil: "Um...guys...."  
  
Ron: "Oh, is that the best you could do?!"  
  
Harry: "Oh, so you want me to kick your ass even more than I can?"  
  
Leo: "Um...."  
  
Ron: "Like you even CAN!"  
  
Quistis: "Uh, perhaps maybe we should kind of..."  
  
Harry: "I KILLEE YOU!" (punches Ron)  
  
Ron: "WAAAHHH!" (flies backwards)  
  
All: "GUYS! A BUS!"  
  
(Ron and Harry stop brawling and they look ahead and see a bus  
coming their way. A random Pikachu walks by, and the bus runs it  
over)  
  
Stan: "'Elcome to the Knight Bus. Board."  
  
Grey: "Ummm....is this sanitary?"  
  
Aki: "Works for me."  
  
Neil: "That's it, I'm a genius."  
  
Hein: (mutters) "Great...I can use this bus to take me to   
Hogsmeade and then resume my plan of world domination....hehe,  
this all works out the way I planned...hehehe...."  
  
Leo: "Uh, Hein?" (taps his shoulder) "You never planned to take  
over the world, remember?"  
  
Hein: "I didn't?"  
  
Jane: "Nope. Sorry."  
  
Hein: "Curses! Foiled again!" (stomps off)  
  
Stan: "Board, please."  
  
(they all walk on)  
  
Leo: "LOOK! BEDS!"  
  
(Harry, Ron, and Hermione scream when they see professor Snape  
sitting down on a bed, with a sock puppet in his hand, talking to it   
like it was his best friend. But then again, it probably is.)  
  
Snape: (holding a sock puppet) "Mr. Poof doesn't like people. He   
eats people. We eat people, don't we Mr. Poof?" (moves hand,   
making sock puppet nod)  
  
Ern: "Jus' ignore, him, y'all. He's desideous."  
  
Quistis: "You mean delirious?"  
  
Ern: "That's what I said."  
  
Quistis: -_-'  
  
(And off in the corner, Dean Tomas and Seamus Finnagan are  
talking on the bed, and gives everyone a "warm" welcome)  
  
Seamus: "Lucky Charms!"  
  
Dean: "They're magically delicious!"  
  
Harry&Squall: "Whatever."  
  
Stan: "Jus' sit down on a bed."  
  
(they all do)  
  
(bus starts)  
  
All: "..."  
  
All: "..."  
  
All: "..."  
  
All: "..."  
  
All: "..."  
  
All: "..."  
  
All: "..."  
  
Irvine: "I'm bored."  
  
Cloud: "Hey Tiffa." (waggles eyebrows)  
  
Tiffa: "I'm a life support system for breasts."  
  
Cloud: "That's it. Leo, get the censored curtain for us."  
  
Leo: "Why me?"  
  
Tiffa: "I'm a life support system for breasts."  
  
Cloud: "No, because your the author."  
  
Lupin: "Leo, you better do it. None of us need to see this."  
  
Leo: "Okay, okay. Don't need to be so pushy!" (pulls the censor  
curtain over Cloud and Tiffa's bed)  
  
Sirius: "That is soooo not right..."  
  
Harry: "Tell me about it..."  
  
Hermione: "I prefer cheddar."  
  
Ryan: "Um...what?"  
  
Hermione: "Dum Dums. Dum Dums. Dum-de-de-de-dum dum dum  
dum dum dum dum dum dum dum..."  
  
Neil: "Which described her own self."  
  
All: "Indeede-o."  
  
Leo: "So, should we call it a day?"  
  
(Cloud and Tiffa noises)  
  
Grey: "Umm....can you block out their voices though, or else non of  
us will get any sleep."  
  
Leo: "Sure."  
  
(censors Cloud and Tiffa second degree)  
  
All: "..."  
  
All: "..."  
  
All: "..."  
  
All: "..."  
  
Leo: "Hey, who wants to play a game?"  
  
Rinoa: "I know! How about Truth or Dare?"  
  
Jane: "What are we? Teenagers?"  
  
AllTheTeens: "...."  
  
Jane: "Okay. My bad."  
  
Dumbledore: "I need lines."  
  
Leo: "You just spoke. Merry Christmas."  
  
Sid: "Hey, how about 'I've Never'?"  
  
(everyone ignores Sid)  
  
Headmaster Cid: "Clue?"  
  
Dumbledore: "Scrabble?"  
  
Quistis: "Okay, everyone ignore the old people."  
  
Aki: "Sounds good for me."  
  
Jane: "I agree."  
  
Leo: "Lets do it."  
  
Rinoa: "It'll be fun!"  
  
Hermione: "For everyone. And cheese too!"  
  
(they ignore all the old people)  
  
Squall: "Spin the bottle?"  
  
Sid: "Uh, hey!"  
  
Ryan: "Truth or Dare?"  
  
Harry: "Been said."  
  
Ryan: "Oookay..."  
  
Headmaster Cid: "Um, guys...you better-"  
  
Leo: "Poker!"  
  
All: (stares at Leo)  
  
Leo: "Did I forget to add the 'strip' in poker?"  
  
All: "NO!"  
  
Leo: "Okay." (cringes)  
  
Dumbledore: "We're serious, don't be mean to old people...."  
  
Headmaster Cid: "This is cruel and unusual punishment."  
  
All: "Beware of the puns! Beware of the puns! Beware of the puns!"  
  
Seamus: "I like Lucky Charms."  
  
Dean: "Because they be magically delicious!"  
  
Ron: "THAT'S IT!"  
  
(everyone looks at him)  
  
Ron: "We can have a duel!"  
  
Harry: "But-uh-not everyone here knows magic, Ron."  
  
Ron: "That's the whole point. Hehehe, they'll be pushovers."  
  
Sirius: "Ron...what happened to you?"  
  
Ron: "I'M NOT RON ANYMORE! I'M EVIL RON! AND I DEMAND A  
DUEL FROM ALL OF YOU!"  
  
All: "..."  
  
Leo: "I'm in."  
  
Squall: "As of I."  
  
Quistis: "Pass."  
  
Rinoa: "Pass."  
  
Irvine: "Pass."  
  
Sirus: "Pass."  
  
Lupin: "Pass."  
  
(okay, everyone else passes, and then...)  
  
Harry: "I'll go."  
  
Ron: "But...I'm your best friend."  
  
Harry: "Well, if your evil Ron, then I don't have anything to worry  
about if I kill you."  
  
Ron: "Damn! Wait....I need a second man...Harry?"  
  
Harry: "Oh FINE!"  
  
Ron: (smiles) "Thank you."  
  
Leo: (puts her hand on Squall's shoulder) "Then that means you and  
me are partnering up."  
  
Squall: "Oh god have mercy on my soul."  
  
Harry: "So, we'll start when we are all ready."  
  
Cloud: "Oh....Tiffa..."  
  
Tiffa: "I'm a life support system for breasts."  
  
Irvine: "Hey, re-censor them, Leo!"  
  
Leo: "Sorry, it must have worn off."  
  
All: "..."  
  
  
((And so the duel will start, next time on...  
  
===Final Fantasy / Harry Potter in....MORE RANDOM INSANITY!===  
  
On the Leo channel. Same Leo date on same Leo time. Don't miss  
it for the world! Okay, miss it if you feel like it, I don't care. I just  
need reviews. C'mon, that box down there is feeling sad. And it  
wants to be happy. Send in your kind words, pwease?)) 


End file.
